In Denial for Too Long

Filed Under (Journal) by Casey on 11-11-2010

This is one of the most painful post that I have ever written. It took me a long time to admit to this but I finally pulled the plug and come out clean with myself.

It was around the same time, when I was getting ready to move on a personal project which I though would be interesting. I know the risk very well but I had to take the chances.

Now this secret project that I was going into was nothing more than Managed Forex Account which I got to know a person who showed me some interesting records. Now this guy uses a Martingale strategy, and being the Martin lover that I am I took to the idea.

Anyway… it was early this year that we got started, I manage to raise the capital and register with GoMarket. It was an interesting first two months and the return were interesting… but on the start of the third month… things took a dive.

Positions took a dive…. Either it was bad timing or the EA sucked…  Anyway, this guy hedge my position to stop the account from going bust…. But he hedged it a wee bit too late… so I decided then that I would take control of my account to see if I can save it.

What control? I basically try to save it but with my limited trading ability, I gave up sometime late May and left my account in the cryogenic state…

Over the months… I thought of pulling out the hedge position. Cut my losses and move on. But my whole body stopped every time I wanted to do that. There is always a hope in me that one day… i can pull this one off and save my account. Like a comatose person on life support…  the family member just want to hold on with hope that one day they will wake up…

That was what it was like for me with my GoMarket account… But it was not only recently when the thought that I could lose more if I continue to hold onto USD with GoMarket which made me realize that I have to swallow the bitter taste of loss and really move forward this time around.

And so… I had to pull the plug on this account so that I am able to convert my USD account to AUD.

I took stock of what I did and started to see the damage that I have incurred on this escapade. After some mental calculating, I realize that I have actually burned my account of 10k. While there were some balance on my account, I had to take into account the first two months which I had to pay my fee to the guy which did not come from my profitable account but from my own pocket.

So in actual fact… the balance in my GoMarket account was actually the fee that I had to cough out. So… it was a failed venture.

I have mentioned before that so far I have been lucky that I have never busted account lost a lot but never busted an account.

Well… today I can rightfully say that I have busted an account.

Is this a good sigh? Well… I like to think so. They say… every successful trader burn their account at least once in their life time. So I am going to chalk this as my first burnt account which means I am moving forward. Which means I am going to be successful in the future… :)

While all is not doom and gloom, it is painful and bitter nevertheless…

So now… let’s move on…

Here is final photo of my account…

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