A Quick Wank is a NO-NO!

Filed Under (Journal, Performance) by Casey on 15-06-2009

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It’s confession time. At times I like to have a quick wank at forex. It is becoming too often and very scary and I believe I need to see a doctor about it…

You see… last thurday I thought I could get away with a quick shot on profit with Cyborg EA. I mean… hey I seem to be getting quite a good winning streak on my IBFX account with Cyborg. So… why not…

Devil The uttering of these two word ‘Why Not’ drew the devil inside of me. On top of that my chinese blood in me just had to scream ‘Punt! Punt! Punt! Punt!’

Gawd dang!! I am just sooooo weak…

I said to myself JUST one or two punt for that day. My luck could not be that bad right? I mean looking at how well Cyborg has been performing

So there I was… ok… maybe it wasn’t me. But somehow something happened and I move my risk level to 5% from my current 1% of my trading balance with Cyborg… ON ALL THREE CURRENCY PAIR!!

As the day have it… two trades were triggered at 0.56 lots on a $600 account balance going on a Martingale strategy on the first degree going up to 4.72 to the fourth degree!!

Who says this is not crazy risk, please raise up your hand?

While my EURUSD hit it’s profit target on the first trade… My second punt on USDJPY was different… It took the trade and I kept it open over the weekend….

As of end of last week this was where USDJPY was heading and I had two position opened at a drawdown of -$80. Man… it was not meant to be like this! So far… none of my trades with Cyborg would be open over the weekend… None!!! Maybe there was one or two… but the point is… over the past few weeks… NONE!

I can only imagine the worst… If it takes the 3rd trade and I get stop out… I can only imagine half of my account just disappeared.

Another confession… why I did not post over last weekend was because of this… I just could not think straight. How can a wank like this go oh so wrong…

But luck was with me… Today… even though it open gap up and took the 3rd trade… it closed the gap and zip down took my profit target…

Phew… if it was ever a good wank with a heart attack.. .This would be it!

I manage to come out alive with only $25.81?!?!?!?!?! With a risk of probably over -$80 over the weekend…

Who else thinks that this is MR DUMB DUMB please raise your hands…

Sighhh…. It took me quite a few hours to continue to look at my weaknesses in forex. This is not the first time, my impulse to punt on the forex occurs to me. It was just pure indiscipline of me to have taken such a great risk, especially with a Martingale System.

As I mentioned before Forex EA or Robot trading does not really take out the discipline in forex trading. It just takes out in inconveniences of trading full time in front of the monitor. Discipline is still very much needed in trading the forex market. As I have shown here. I am a perfect example of a gambler at best with lack of discipline.

I guess that is one of the reason I am unsuccessful in manual trading is because of this lack of discipline.

Secondly… Fu(k trading with peanut money…I am really taking for granted my small accounts. How can’t I? I am only seeing peanut profits.

You know most EA sales site, keep saying that  ‘You can even trade with as much $100 with our Robot ‘ $hit! If you do not have the discipline to accept peanut profits… then don’t trade at all… even with $100.

It should be rewritten… you can even GAMBLE with as much as $100.

I was thinking $100 is peanut money… I use $100 to gamble at casino. At times… or rather most of the time I blew this $100 and I can go back and sleep like a baby.

While on the other hand, if the money was big enough I would be more careful. I mean hey…  look at my alpari account. I do take care of this account since this is my biggest account in terms of balance as compared with the other… I seem to have the tendency of toying with my other account IBFX, FXDD and FXOPEN all of it which has small account balances.

In my country there is a saying ‘Sikit-sikit, lama-lama jadi bukit’ (Little by little, slowly it will mount out to become a hill) If you look at the capital that I have pump into my FXDD account… and the losses that I have incurred on it was because of that gambler in me.

If one can take small profits in cents… then it is ok. But if one can’t wait to get more money out of the market… Then please walk away from forex trading. You are only making the broker and the more season player more money…

Hmmm…. I have always wondered about Broker giving away free bonuses with your initial deposits… I guess they are slowly turning into a casino house no? They are more than happy to give to you a micro account. Why? Because they know… when you are not satisfied with peanut money… You will start to take bigger risk on your small trading account and the possibility of blowing it…. Well… it’s there. And that is their Broker’s EDGE.

Human weakness and not probability. But I guess all this is just me…

MORAL OF THIS STORY… A cheap wank is never a good wank… whether it is quick or slow. Especially when it comes to forex… :)

NEXT STEP: Hmmm… either I consolidate my account to just 1 account with one broker… Or I add more capital into the other broker to make it 1k each… I believe $1k on each broker account would be big enough amount of money for me not to screw it up…

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